Changing Currents
This has been a summer of change, rethink, and re-do. On this, the 10th anniversary of owning this house, I'd planned to celebrate this milestone here with my hubby along with our our 20th anniversary, kayaking the cerulean blue waters of Sardegna, stuffing ourselves silly on my housekeeper, Giovanna's addictive fried bread, and reaching a few peaks in the Gran Sasso together. Of course, we all know what quashed those plans. I managed to be here despite the little virus, but events for which I'd planned shifted and changed constantly and rapidly. I felt like Bugs Bunny in the cartoons in which Yosemite Sam shoots at his feet and yells, "Dance, varmint!"
I believe in angels. Not necessarily the ones we're shown with flowing gowns and large wings. But Forces. Currents. In my cosmology, we're chucked into a river of sorts at birth. A confluence of currents into which we can flow on our way through life. Or miss them and really screw up. Our personal Moses effect. It's our job to navigate the currents of this river and figure out which ones are going to get us down to the take out. When canoeing with him, my husband has taught me that for each rapid we approach, we set a line and paddle like hell. If you've set the right line and hold it, you run the rapid beautifully. If not, think fast and adjust faster. Figure it out quickly. And be sure you're not going against the current. Sometimes you have a good line, but something unexpected forces you to adjust - higher or lower water level than you'd anticipated, a fallen branch in the way, a change in the river that happened since you last on it that may have altered, strengthened, or weakened the current.
This summer has been the summer of changing currents and "figuring it out". Adjusting. There were new and unexpected currents, rapids, holes the entire time: purse stolen, the need to replace documents, this leading to the discovery that I'd lost my residency status leading to the need to consult a tax expert. leading to the need to confirm that I could still own my car...and on and on. This didn't even include the twists and turns of the plans relating to the reason I was here in the first place: to replace part of the house's sewer system. I struggled to find a new set of lines, to feel where the current was, how it was moving, and how to deal with it. The wrong choice and - bloop - you flip. You swim. You can get pretty banged up that way.
Here's where the angels come in (you were wondering how all of this river talk related to that idea, didn't you?) Sometimes if you pause for a split second, breathe, and let the current take you - just long enough to feel where you need to be, where it wants you to be - you can be guided to a new line that takes you where you need to go. You get back on track. Maybe it wasn't a smooth ride. But it may have been an instructive one. Maybe you discovered a new line or new lunch rock or swimming hole. Maybe you improved your cross draw on your "bad" side. Maybe that's just what you needed and didn't know it. But the angels did. They pushed you into the right current.
This summer I learned that sometimes my Italian was surprisingly good enough to get me through a situation and discouragingly bad enough to make it impossible to get through others without a lot of help. I discovered a new service station with a nice guy who patiently led me through the inspection process for my new "bombola" - gas tank for the GPL gas. I learned that the carabinieri can be really nice when they are taking your robbery report. I learned that there is such a thing as a pear and gorgonzola pizza and that it is yummy. I learned more about Italian real estate and tax laws than I ever wanted to know. But that I needed to know. You learned these things because your angels, the currents that move you along, pushed you into line.
Like paddling, you may end up wet, tired, and bruised. You may not have gotten what you wanted, but from "figuring it out", from working over and over to stay upright, you got exactly what you needed. The angels steered you there. Damn them.
